Evaluate Your Relationship

Read both lists and mentally answer “yes” to every statement that is true about your relationship:

Is it healthy?

My partner and I…

  • Feel safe with each other.
  • Trust and respect each other.
  • Support each other’s opinions and goals.
  • Solve conflicts without insults, swearing, or threats.
  • Have equal say in money and important matters.
  • Have some privacy: mail, phone, social and digital media.
  • Enjoy a mutually satisfying sex life.
  • Both have friends outside the relationship.
  • Both accept responsibility for our own actions.

 

Is it unhealthy?

My partner….

  • Can be jealous, possessive, and controlling.
  • Puts me down, or tries to make me feel crazy.
  • Isolates me and criticizes my friends and family.
  • Monitors my phone, mail, social and digital messages.
  • Makes me feel uncomfortable about sex.
  • Ignores or withholds affection to punish me.
  • Has grabbed, pushed, hit, or strangled (“choked”) me.
  • Smashes, throws, or destroys things.
  • Blames me for his/her/their behavior.

 

If you answered “yes” to one or more “unhealthy” signs, you might be in an unhealthy, abusive relationship.  But you are not alone.  One in four women, one in seven men, and one in three teens will find themselves in an unsafe relationship.  Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence or relationship abuse, regardless of age, race, sexual orientation, religion, gender identity, education level, or financial means.  As you can see from these signs, it doesn’t have to be physical abuse to be abuse; and it’s not your fault.  

 

No one deserves to be abused.  There is help.

Contact or visit the Family Justice Center to talk with one of our trained Advocates about your concerns, and learn more about what you can do to keep safe.  

Family Justice Center SafeLine:

(716) 558-SAFE (7233)

 

24-Hour Hotline:

(716) 884-6000 (for shelter) 

 

Your conversations, and all our services, are completely free and confidential.

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